I’m really lonely right now. I need to be with someone who actually loves me and doesn’t look at me like i’m someone to play with when they are bored. Yes, i am saying i want more than what i have. or don’t have. or whatever…. I want to be able to do nice things for somebody and make plans to do something. I want to be able to cuddle with someone, or just randomly have sex and not wonder if i’m sexy enough or not. 

Meh idk, that’s just what i was thinking anyway…

Later DayZ…

I’m really happy right now. I logged into Xanga today and remembered that i could upload video. so i thought i would just dump some video on here. i tried and i think i failed cause i can’t find it, but, that’s ok. that is only ok because i found my old vacation pics! I thought i had lost those completely!!! I am so happy that i have found them. now i really want to keep posting on Xanga. The fire has been rekindled. I’ll post stuff later ^_^

So i have restarted my live journal site and am thinking about doing some stories on there. So far i kinda want to do my digimon story and That love story i started a while ago. although i don’t know if i am actually going to make it or not yet. I haven’t exercised my mind enough yet. I haven’t read or done anything with any of my stories for a while. I’m really out of practice, and kind of out of touch with what it is to write a story i think. That is why i want to do my Digimon fan fic to start with. Its going to be something that is going to force my to write and draw, since most of the characters are original creations. 

the story is pretty much going to be a prince vs princess kind of thing. The princess and the prince are going to start out on the same side but later in the story the princess will show her true colors and want to form a nation all her own. she is going to be pretty much the leader of digimon who have a dual nature. (ie. chirubimon) For that section i’m going to have to do some research on what digimon have that though. That’s not til the second half though. the first half is going to deal with the prince and how he finds out he isn’t human. What he will do with that situation i have no clue. I have way to many instances in my head about what to do with that so i’ll just see which one pops up while i am writing. 

There are also some stories that i have been thinking about doing. The first is the dual dimensions series. No that is not its official title, nor is it a typical series either. This one has two groups of heroes in tow different series. They are fighting a single enemy and neither knows of the other’s existence till the middle of both series. The name will change then and the two will form into one. Although its going to be a little complicated to do i think. Well, at least for me. since only the enemy is the common entity in the first half of the series, it might be kind of easy if i make the enemy a large group….  hmmm….  Still working on that….

The second is the one about the boy who gets a monstrous power from a demon he frees after he, his friends, and their families get shipwrecked on an island. I already know who the potential love interest is and what half of the situation is but i don’t know what the main problem is yet. It hasn’t come to me…. Its going to be one of those love triangle things. the main character is going to be the guy who is loved by two other people and each of those people do different things in the wake of him getting powers and trying to save them from …..the island?  …..demons?  …..school? i don’t know yet. 

Don’t forget the Scared Angel series. I still have plans for that. its huge in my head, multiple arcs, characters, minor situations. I just need to put it down somewhere. I haven’t yet because i am being paranoid in a way. I really don’t want that one stolen from me. its something i have been mulling over since about middle school. I really don’t want it Taken from me and really blown up and changed til its not mine anymore. I don’t know if it would take off like that but I really want it to be mine…..

Well I’ll stop by again and write something. I kinda want to look up digimon now.

Later DayZ…..

I’m getting kinda tired of doing the same thing over and over. Its like being in a loop. the problem is that i have no money and am not in a good place to even try to branch out. When i think about going out and doing my own thing, i feel that i want to leave everything behind and start from scratch. Just leave friends, family, basically every tie i currently have and just start new. I don’t want to do this endless dance with everyone. I on’t even want to continue the pieces that i have just built up. I want t be free, live the way i want to without having to look over my shoulder and see who is trying to catch me. I don’t want to have to be super happy Omar, who has that one and only emotion. I want to feel everything to its most extreme. Seemingly, life needs you to have one and only emotion. Everyone defines you as that one emotion. They don’t listen to anything else. whatever is on the outer layer of the onion is what everyone expects from you. i want to be me…..

….Its been a long time, myself…..

I’ve been noticing lately how everything is just so freaking expensive. Especially since we are moving….  gotta get a bike, a bed, and some other stuff….  its like the bill of life never ends. At the very least this is still free for me to complain on, lol.